[开始。树)上台安静地屹立到舞台较后方。导演走到台前] 导演:Action![跑下台] [农夫冷酷地上。]
农夫:I’m a farmer.(稍停顿)[走两步]A modern farmer.(掏出墨镜戴上)[冷酷地走两步,突然被绊了一跤,回头生气地踢了下绊自己的石头,继续保持冷酷]When I was yong, I studied in Nan~tong Middle School[掏出胸卡骄傲地展示给观众看,收起]!So I’m rich now![开始展示名牌,边说边掏]Look! This is my modern mobile——Motorola WC 250!This is my Swatch! This my MP3!This is my shoes——ADI~DAS! This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh, sorry. And look at this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do U know what’s this?痒痒挠?No no no~~ It’s my modern——锄头~!![看下表]It’s time to do some farming![开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作,锄了两下,突然] Oh yes! I think farming should be combined with music![掏出MP3戴上,开始很有激情地边锄地边唱]Farming farming, I’m farming! Farming should be combined with music~! Farming farming, I’m farming! Farming will be funny and easy~![边唱边锄边慢慢下台,把没用的道具拿走,把有用的道具准备在口袋里] [树走上前台]
树:I’m a tree! I can do many things! I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作,边做边唱:哼哼哈西!!!]I can dance![跳四小天鹅]I’m tall! And I’m Strong! IF you hit me, you will 挂掉!Oh? There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子A)。树站回后台] [兔子A上]
兔子A(一开始不知道状况。以为自己扮演周杰伦,所以很热情地上场跟观众打招呼):Hey everybody,I’m Jay! I love U!I love Nantong![展示新专辑《十一月的肖邦》]Now let me sing one of my new songs to U! The name of the song is 《发如雪》![清清嗓子正要唱,这时候导演(范冰)上]
导演:[拿手中纸筒狠狠打了下兔子A的头]What are U doing?! Now U are a rabbit, understand?![兔子A:Sorry sorry sorry] [导演边说边夺过《十一月的肖邦》。导演下台之前,看了下《十》] What’s this?[看了看,惊喜地]Oh! It’s mine!(很兴奋地拿着下场)
兔子A:OK, now I’m a rabbit. I just had my breakfast. Now I’m just walking around here. I think walking after meals is good for my health. [在场上转圈,悠闲散步] [农夫继续锄地,边锄边上场,突然看见前面有个兔子]
农夫:(惊喜地)Lunch![扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it! [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走]
[农夫跟在兔子后面。两个人走啊走。兔子突然回头。农夫假装看手表。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装看天气。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装打手机。两人继续走,兔子回头。这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子。]
兔子A:Wahhhh~!(吓一跳)What’s this! 农夫:Hnnnn…!I will kill U for lunch!
兔子A:But your gun… [帮农夫把枪头调转过来(农夫一开始把枪对着自己)] 农夫:Thank you!
兔子A:My pleasure. (突然想起来农夫要杀自己) Wah~~~~~~ [兔子跑,躲到树后面,农夫追到树前] 农夫:Where~ to go? Haha!
[农夫开了一枪“砰”。兔子在树后惊慌躲闪,没被打到。树做出受伤中弹状。 农夫又开枪,同上。农夫开始加快频率,火力密集地开枪。兔子开始时惊慌躲闪,躲着躲着跳起舞来。树继续痛苦中弹状。] 兔子A[自我陶醉中,边跳边说]You didn’t hurt me! You didn’t hurt me! 树:[痛苦万分地]But…U…Hurt me….[痛苦地慢慢挪动到兔子背后]
[兔子继续兴奋地跳舞。农夫停止开枪,走到兔子面前,看着它。 兔子猛然抬头发现]
农夫:Ah ha~! Bye bye ! [举枪对准兔子,开枪,没声音,看看枪,示意没子弹了。兔子见状,非常兴奋地大笑起来]
兔子A:Ha ha ha ha! You can’t kill me now! [兴奋大笑,笑到抽筋,笑到后仰。突然头撞倒了后面的树] Wa ![兔子晕两下~~ “我倒!” 倒地]
农夫:OH! [很兴奋地过去两个手指提起兔子]My lunch , I caught you !!! [想一下] But I’m still full now. Let me tie it to the tree and have a sleep. I will eat it after sleeping.[把兔子绑到树上。倒地睡到树旁边] ……
兔子A:[兔子很快醒了,看看四周,发现自己被绑了,很惊讶]Where am I? What happened? 树:[指着农夫]He caught you and wanted to eat you.
兔子A:What?! I must leave here! But how can I escape?[东张西望,看到农夫的手机]
[兔子不知不觉地把树杈移开,走到手机前看了看]咦?What’s this?[捡起来看]Oh, a mobile.[再看]It’s beautiful.[放回原处。 又自觉地把自己绑在树上。 突然想起来]A mobile! Maybe I can call some one to help me! [又不知不觉地把自己放出来,那起手机] But how to use it??? 树:[走上前]Let me tell U. Look, press this button![给兔子] 兔子A:Oh I see. [做出打电话的样子] 喂?
李咏:[上台,激情澎湃地] Hello! This is lucky fifty-two![做出幸运52的手势]I’m Li Yong! Now let’s start our first question! What’s the most probable relation between 康熙 and 雍正? A. Husband and wife B.Teacher and student C.Waiter and costomer Answer me, please!
兔子A:(很冷漠地)Sorry, wrong number.[挂掉]
李咏:Answer me! Answer me! En..?喂?喂喂?[很郁闷地下台] 兔子A:Now let me call again.[拨打] 喂? 兔子B:喂? 兔子A:Hey ,Jackey! 兔子B:Hey ,Tommy! 兔子A:How are you doing? 兔子B:Fine, thank you. And U?
兔子A:I’m fine too! How are your parents doing? 兔子B:They are fine, thank you. And U?
兔子A:They are fine,too! How is your uncle doing? 兔子B:He’s fine, thank you! And U? 兔子A:He’s fine , too!
兔子B:But why do you call me? If you want borrow some money from me…NO WAY!!! 兔子A:No no no! I’m in danger now! Come and help me!!! 兔子B:But where are you? 兔子A:I’m under a tree!
兔子B:[边打电话边在附近走,经过兔子A面前,两个人还没发现]What can you see around you? 兔子A:I see a rabbit ,rather like you!
兔子B:A rabbit…rather like me… OK! I’ll soon come! Wait for me! I will help you! [匆匆离开]
[兔子A 打完电话,小心翼翼地把手机放回农夫处,还很有礼貌地说了句“Thank you.” 然后又很自觉地把自己绑回了树上]
兔子A:Hahaha! My friend will come and save me, yeah! [兴奋过度,后仰,头又撞倒树上,昏眩中…“我晕!” 又晕了